Tuesday, November 17, 2009

You're not the boss of me.


In a somewhat misguided effort at obtaining a rudimentary level of self-mastery, I have been working to overcome a few of my fears/limitations/habits.

I am proud to say that the following is the ever-growing "List of things that aren't the boss of Kristen Radford."

1. Car washes
2. Wetsuits
3. iPhone keypads
4. Pants
5. Freeways
6. Pie crusts
7. Yeast breads
8. First dates
9. Social graces
10. Stop signs
11. Coin machines
12. Airport security
13. Elementary multiplication
14. Mondays
15. Basic office hours
16. Logic
17. Reason
18. Hunger
19. 8-pound dumbbells
20. Thanksgiving
21. Swine flu
22. Basic nutrition

Unfortunately, I feel it only fair to also include the list of ever-dwindling "Things that are STILL the boss of Kristen Radford."

1. The gym
2. Her nephews
3. American Express
4. Edward Cullen
5. Frozen yogurt
6. Costco
7. Ambien
8. Spiders
9. Thank-you cards
10. The Pacific Ocean
11. Gossip Girl
12. The regular flu
13. 15-pound dumbbells
14. Vending machines
15. Parking garages
16. iPhone screens

Here's to progress, people.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Twice in One Year

It's no big deal, people.

Brunette beauty at Pipes - m4w - 30 (Pipes in cardiff)

Date: 2009-11-09, 11:02AM PST

I see you surfing at Pipes all the time. I always kick myself for not talking to you when you're actually alone. Short brown hair, white and green funboard, silver car. I'd love to surf with the prettiest girl in cardiff.

  • Location: Pipes in cardiff
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1458274116

Friday, November 6, 2009

'Tis the Season

Despite what anyone I have ever dated might argue otherwise, I AM A GIVER.

And that, in combination with the impending yuletide festivities of the season, was my primary motivation for giving - every person in my vicinity - swine flu.

Because some things should be shared.

And I'm a giver (slash carrier).

Not to worry, dear friends, for I have redeemed myself (some make good, I make BAKED goods), in the form of dessert.

Because nothing says "I'm sorry I gave you swine flu" like a Bavarian Apple Torte.

Go on, be piggish.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Ciento, mis amigos.


And this is my 100th Post, which I'm grateful for, as I have nothing else to share with you fine people. And being as it is such an accomplishment, I will take the rest of the day off and go shopping.

But leave you with the other important 'HUNDREDS' in my life:

The percentage at which I am positive Gerard Butler and I are destined for each other.

The number, plus one, of my favorite gang of spotted dogs.

The number of pills a day it takes to keep me healthy, happy, and socially-acceptable.

My goal weight, in pounds.

The attempts it takes for me to complete a cartwheel.

The number of men I have dated. This year.

The speed, in mph, I would run from any of those included in the above entry.

The number, plus infinity, of peanut-butter cups I could eat in one sitting.

The times I've put off working out. This morning.

The most money I have ever spent for a diet coke.

The least money I have ever spent on an emotional shopping trip.

The years I would wait for Brandon Flowers.

The gallons of the Pacific Ocean I have drunk. This week.

Happy Hundreds, dearest readers.