Monday, March 29, 2010

Papa Knows Best


Papa Knows Best

It might be rebels that make the news, but life isn’t so bad for the obedient, either. Or so it would seem in a recent CNN report ( As it turns out, the fifth commandment (for you heathens, that’s the one about honoring your parents), might have some validity after all.

This got me to thinking (always a dangerous activity) about the advice I’ve received from my own father through the years. And though, in my 27 years, I have chosen to test the legitimacy of said advice through extensive experimental means, I have compiled the following as the best advice I’ve received from Pop (to date).

  • If you suffer from Attention-Deficit Disorder, it’s good idea to stay away from standard transmissions.
  • Just because you’re getting 12 CDs for the price of one, committing to Columbia House or BMG could have catastrophic consequences.
  • Open cell phone accounts for yourself, not someone else, especially if that someone else may or may not end up in prison.
  • Stay out of Mexico.
  • Never take a promotion without a pay increase.
  • Be wary of men who don’t pay for dinner on a first date.
  • Be wary of men who procure dates online.
  • Be wary of men.
  • Never burn a bridge of someone who might hire you later in life.
  • Stay out of Mexico.
  • You can still squeeze 50 miles out of your tank once the gas light comes on (note that this only has a 75% effective rate).
  • Paying rent will, in the end, fulfill your life more than new shoes will.
  • Changing your oil is not an optional service.
  • Stay out of Mexico.

My thanks to CNN for making it en vogue to mind your father.

There are times . . .

when the most bizarre of song lyrics fill me with the greatest pleasure.

For instance:

"Plants, as far as we know are still bending toward the light. And if we dance, until the heart explodes we can make this place ignite."

My thoughts exactly, MGMT.

I'd really appreciate you all getting on board: