Monday, April 21, 2008

I've been compared to Christopher Walken

Yes, in BOTH looks and voice inflection. Enjoy.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Family Weekend

Thought I'd take a time-out from sarcastic cynicism and post some great pics of my adorable fam!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A Sociological Experiment

I hear it takes all kinds of people to make this world of ours go round. You have your mechanics, your doctors, your business people--and you have the bizarre sort who respond to ridiculous ads on the Internet.

So, in the name of sociological topography, I placed the following ad on Craig's List:

Reply to:
Date: 2008-03-14, 11:47AM MDT

Wanted: One tall (6'1" and above), fit (must work out) and devastatingly attractive male roommate to share large house with five gorgeous, spunky and charmingly neurotic girls.

Aside from paying rent, you must also be willing to:

--Spend most of the day shirtless
--Compliment your roommates excessively
--Listen to five girls overanalyze their romantic lives ad nauseum
--Bake chocolate-chip cookies
--Offer fashion advice
--Mow the lawn
--Disqualify any self-deprecating statements your roommies might make.
--Be charming, in general

You will have your own bedroom and some free time. Please send photo upon application. Below are three of your new roommies:

40th South at 20th East
Location: Holladay, Utah
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 606160654
Copyright © 2008 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum


What I thought was a mild-mannered prank, others took, well, quite seriously. And though I might add that the aforementioned solicitation aided in restoring self-esteem to myself and my roommates, the replies were far too brilliant to keep to myself. Below are a few:

1. Hi!

I'm not sure if I fit your whole Prince Valiant, Supermodel, Chiseled shirt off all day kind of guy, but I'm not that bad looking, and I know how to party still. I need to get into a place asap, and somehow this offer seemed so much more enticing than the others. Girls can be a lot of drama though, so I'm a little hasty as far as that is concerned.

I am a graphic designer, and writer here in SLC, and I also work at Murphy's bar and grill down town.

You can check out my profile on myspace if you want, and if I look like a potential candidate, put me in the drawing!

You can call (number deleted) for further inquiry

~Jaybird Dynomite

2. I will only move in, if im not the only one walking around shirtless. Lol

3. It's hard enough trying to con one girl into getting your way, let alone five. Funny ad, by the way. Do you have pictures of the place? I'm 23, 6'0", 190. Adam

4. Hi there,

I'm probably not good looking enough for y'all. But if I were........would I be required to "service" my roomies occasionally? =-O

Your pics are cute!

Pacing myself for potential demands,

(this reply was especially creepy due to the photo attached:)

5. Hey, Couldn't find as many good ass shots as I wanted...Oh well, you get the point. My name is Matt(26) just moving to Salt Lake and looking for a room. Living with a bunch of hot girls would really amp up my street cred. I have chose to answer the application questions as honestly as possible and hope that they will impress the pants off all you well dressed, culturally educated, beautiful women.

--Spend most of the day shirtless...shirts are so restrictive
--Compliment your roommates excessively...see above
--Listen to five girls overanalyze their romantic lives ad long as I am not asked advice
--Bake chocolate-chip cookies...sorry, I like brownies
--Offer fashion advice...can't help you there
--Mow the lawn...I'm a landscaper
--Disqualify any self-deprecating statements your roomies might make...obviously
--Be charming, in general...can you settle for nice?

Anyways, if I pass your rigorous screening process it would be great to talk with you guys and answer any 'real' questions you may have. Matt.

6. why does the guy need to be hot when the girls are not? (This one devastated the author, for obvious reasons.)

7. Hey so you girls sound pretty hilarious and thats kind of what I'mlooking for in roomies! I'm Josh, 6'1, decent looking, and an awesomeguy all around.

Ps We are playing for the same team so no worrieshaha. Hit me up if you are interested. -Josh

8. Hi Kristen!

Ha ha I love the add. It sounds like a little much, but I may be up for the task. I am after all the only boy in my family with 5 sisters so....That is if the room isn't already taken. If you really need an application just ask. I've got a resume that should work. Let me know! Take care.

Oh a pic is attached.

Along with these responses came a great collection of photos: Below are just a few....