Textual Peeves

As much as I hate to talk about me, I find it necessary to address an unignorable trend that I’ve overlooked much too long: one that exasperates me at least twice daily and sends my grammatical sensibilities absolutely raging on the rare occasion.

I am, of course, referring to text message shortcuts.

“How r u?”
“Gr8. U?
“Want 2 meet up?”
“Y? Ur hungry?”

I can’t hide the fact that it drives me absolutely haywire. And with text messaging becoming an official and accepted form of communication, this is one peeve that shows little sign of abatement.

A word to the wise:

If you use “2” in a non-numeral sense, I’ll presume you’re TOO dimwitted to know the difference between one “o” and two.

If your message contains “r,” used as a singular word, I will take after the Motion Picture Rating System and consider you restricted.

“BTW” in my mind means “bring the weapon,” and assume you are in fact asking me to kill you.

And WTF? I still consider this cursing and will forward the message to your mother.

And while we’re on the subject, “x” does not stand as its own word or make up for a “ks” sound, capish?

Thanks for your time. (Thanx 4 ur time, if translation was needed.)