Papa Knows Best

Papa Knows Best

It might be rebels that make the news, but life isn’t so bad for the obedient, either. Or so it would seem in a recent CNN report (http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/26/new.jersey.cold.case/index.html?hpt=C1). As it turns out, the fifth commandment (for you heathens, that’s the one about honoring your parents), might have some validity after all.

This got me to thinking (always a dangerous activity) about the advice I’ve received from my own father through the years. And though, in my 27 years, I have chosen to test the legitimacy of said advice through extensive experimental means, I have compiled the following as the best advice I’ve received from Pop (to date).

• If you suffer from Attention-Deficit Disorder, it’s good idea to stay away from standard transmissions.

• Just because you’re getting 12 CDs for the price of one, committing to Columbia House or BMG could have catastrophic consequences.

• Open cell phone accounts for yourself, not someone else, especially if that someone else may or may not end up in prison.

• Stay out of Mexico.
  

• Never take a promotion without a pay increase.

• Be wary of men who don’t pay for dinner on a first date.

• Be wary of men who procure dates online.

• Be wary of men.

• Never burn a bridge of someone who might hire you later in life.

• Stay out of Mexico.
  

• You can still squeeze 50 miles out of your tank once the gas light comes on (note that this only has a 75% effective rate).

• Paying rent will, in the end, fulfill your life more than new shoes will.

• Changing your oil is not an optional service.

• Stay out of Mexico.
  

My thanks to CNN for making it en vogue to mind your father.