Sunday, January 13, 2008

January is for resolvers.... .



It has come to my attention that we are 15 days into the new year. It is normally at this point that I have successfully broken all of my New Year's resolutions, but in an effort to more valiantly improve myself, I am publishing mine for the world to see. There. Call me on it, if you dare.

For 2008, I resolve. . .

1. Court appearances will be kept to routine misdemeanors. (i.e., no drug trafficking, assault and battery, or 2nd-degree homicide charges in '08).

2. I'm whittling myself down to three personalities this year. So long, Samantha and Jorge.

3. In my dating world, I will only allow ONE state-hospital-escapee per month.

4. Learn to ski.

5. Withdraw all moneys from my swiss bank accounts before German gestapo close them.

6. Brutal honesty in 2008. Or 2009. Okay, 2010.

7. Break up Brandon Flowers' marriage in a coy enough manner to simultaneously attain his undying adoration.

8. Return all calls to parole officers.

9.Perfect the ancient art of piracy.

9. Convince the greater Salt lake area that there is no harm in sporting hot pink tights to work.

10. Listen to one song per week that DOESN'T make me want to overdose on painkillers.

11. Convince the world that Christmas need not be kept merely in December.

12. Settle the national debt.

13. Star in a major motion picture blockbuster.

14. Take my vitamins.

15. Date an Irishman.

16. Find out, once and for all, who shot John F. Kennedy.

17. Acquire an English accent.

(number 14 is optional.)

9 comments:

Robyn said...

I can tell you put a lot of thought into your resolutions. It makes me laugh to think of you speaking in an English accent. You'll have to call me when you have it down!

TUG said...

Although I don't know you . . .

I think that all of these are very doable and you should be able to knock them out by next month.

I really think that SLC needs more pink tights so this is a good one!

Anonymous said...

How about this for number 18: Single-handedly keep the economy from sliding into a recession with my shopping habits.

libbie said...

After watching PS I Love You, Nicole and I have also decided that we want to date/do Irish men. Its just to bad our husbands wouldn't approve of this one. So you will have to go for it without us! Do Irish Men like women with English accents? If so, I will have to start working on mine . . . . .Good luck with all those other ones. I am pretty sure you will have no problem checking those off.

My Three Sons said...

Hilarious comedy. Irishmen....very tempting :) Also....Brandon Flowers. Good luck with all of those lofty resolutions. I think you look hot in pink, purple, green and layered tights....whatever suits your fancy!

The Bloxham Bunch said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. Your list is the best. It seems like we all like a little Irish.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so I didn't deliver on the promised "Eco-Bag". However, I can deliver on you meeting Brandon Flowers (and his wife - they just had a kid)...I'm sure if you work your magic or tell him of your goals...

Yes, I'm serious.

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