Woods for Peace

I’m coming forward.

No, I’m not number 14. That being said, I do have a few words to say bout Tiger.

He’s the greatest golfer of our time, to state the trite and obvious. But in the light of the current debacle of angry women, drug accusations, lost endorsements and missed tournaments, it may seem like there are few left in Tiger’s corner (er, den?).

Don’t lose hope, Tiger, a few of us are still rooting for you. Just this morning, the associated press named Woods the ‘Athlete of the Decade,’ scandal and all.

Well, I’d like to take that a step further. I’m nominating Tiger for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Let me explain. This isn’t simply a reaction to this years’ selection and the fact that recipients no longer have to actually create peace, but a testament of Tiger’s concrete determination to make and keep harmony in the lives of those… connected… with him.

If we study the chronology (which I will sum-up for any readers without access to trashy entertainment mags), we see that Ty kept his debauchery quiet for at least 31-months. THIRTY-ONE MONTHS. Now, in my mind, anyone who can keep 13 morally-casual-and-self-motivated women satisfied, silent and secret for nearly three years might have what it takes to qualify for sainthood.

Not to mention that Tiger’s a protector (insert jungle metaphor here). While travelling the world as its most prominent athlete, endorsing products and role-modeling as husband and father, he still found the time to consider other people – protecting the reputations of the defenseless and lowly: doctors, porn stars, celebutantes, and wives who beat the hell out of Escalades with golf clubs.

So let’s not just give him another chance. Let’s give peace a chance – just like Ty would.